Feds Spend $384,949 to Study Duck Penises

I wasn’t upright and online for a full hour this morning when a friend dropped this link on me…I’m bleary still…I squint at the headline and think to myself, “Oh, this has GOT to be an Onion spoof!” Please let this be a spoof…but no, of course not. Only in a totally Downside-Up and Backasswards world does a country that is broke and up to its eyeballs in debt spend $384,949…to study duck-dicks.

Ya’ll can read it and weep…I’m going to go splash my coffee with some whiskey and hope this is the most insane thing I read all day…even though I know it likely won’t be…


Kinky Ducks! (Howard The Duck; Best “B” Movie Ever!)

IJ Review – “Most Americans don’t give a pluck about ducks. Yet, even while the White House is shutting down tours and threatening to cancel April Fool’s Day egg rolls, it is still spending major bling to study duck junk.

CNS News found the federal study and reported it on Tuesday:

The National Science Foundation (NSF) has awarded a $384,949 grant to Yale University for a study on “Sexual Conflict, Social Behavior and the Evolution of Waterfowl Genitalia”, according to the recovery.govwebsite.

The grant description says,“The project examines how reproductive morphology covaries with season, age, and social environment in a diverse sample of duck species that differ in ecology, territoriality and breeding system.”

Since the study was a part of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, hot duck lovin’ may be the only real stimulus that came out of the $812 billion spending package.” Full Story


13 comments on “Feds Spend $384,949 to Study Duck Penises

  1. Robertlyn says:

    You don’t dwadle when you get a bit of steam Twinzy… I Like That!


    • You know just how to get me fired up and get the brain popping…tis your fault I had to snap to it this morning, dammit! Seriously…thanks for the tip on this little slice of insanity…
      Viva le Howard!!! ;-)


  2. carinaragno says:

    penis envy since theirs don’t swirl like cork screw lol


  3. Who knows? This “study” may have been one of Obama’s or one of his cronies pay-off’s for someone who heartily contributed and endorsed his presidential campaign. Far be it from the White House occupier’s modus operandi to openly and capriciously write out taxpayer money checks to reward the [his] faithful…………….


  4. See why I write stories like yesterday’s ‘Beautiful Dream’?


  5. Findog says:

    If it looks like a duck..and quacks like a duck.. its probably the Military Industrial Complex… ;o)


  6. Hmmm- and the christian right wing CNS “News” broke this story? Gotta wonder what these repressed folks were looking for to stumble upon that…

    But I’ll reserve judgement on the study itself. I’ve always been a fan of the Ig Nobel prizes- which, as they say- first make people laugh- then make them think.

    some interesting (but maybe too much) info here: http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2013/mar/22/tweets/federal-government-funding-study-duck-penises/


    • Thanks for such an excellent link! Nice to know that there is some sort of reason for this research but neither here nor there…is this something the government should be paying for? I say it shouldn’t…go dig the money up from private investors and then study gnat sex for all I care.

      It hadn’t occurred to me to question what kind of search someone had to have been doing in order to even find this. I went looking for a Donald Duck meme last night and some of the images I found have left me with permanent mental scars so…?


  7. Nancy Barnes says:

    One can only hope the “terroriality” of the diverse sample of duck species would note which ducks resided near GMO crops as the only way congress would enact laws to protect humans may be a study suggesting GMOs may shrivel their own.


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