I know I’ve been posting quite a few music/feel-good kinds of videos lately…so much so that someone privately contacted me to inquire if I was feeling alright or wasn’t ‘quite myself’ these days. Hrm…well, I’m not sure how it is that I wouldn’t ever wake up feeling like Me but it seems as if others think this is somehow possible. So, to answer the question…
Yes, I AM feeling quite like myself these days. Have I felt like ranting as much as usual? No, not really. I’m tired of screaming my head off all the damn time trying to wake people up, to expose things that are not right…especially when all that generally happens is I end up *yelling* the message to a bunch of people who mostly already *Get It* and wearing myself out more than I probably should.
I cannot deny – and will not ever try to cover-up the wrongs of the world; it is just not in my nature. I like reality, even this fucked up state of reality we exist in right now. I don’t want to duck it or pretend that nothing is going on that threatens the entire planet and future of humankind…
It’s just that sometimes I end up getting pulled under and drowning in the darkness of the muck I like to swim in so often. I can only go so long pushing all of my energies and focus down into all of the swirling pools of Wrong that surround us before I have to come up for air…for sunlight…for LIFE.
Maybe I’m just a slightly more mellowed-out version of Me than people are used to seeing here…but believe me, I’m real. My love of uncovering the maggots of the world hasn’t changed. But neither has my love of nature, of animals, art and music…for awhile there I got disconnected from those things but I am finding my way back to them. That I love being outdoors is not something new; I was talking to trees and rocks long before I could type and talk to people online!
So perhaps it is only that I am sharing more of my real (or more full?) self than people are used to that prompted the email and concern? At any rate, I hope that my mix of posting some Light in and around all of the Darkness I expose, doesn’t confuse people…it is my love of everything that is natural and nature-based that fuels my anger and outrage at the death, destruction and corruption going on in the world. The 2 seemingly unrelated *sides* of me are in fact, interwoven together so tightly that one really could not exist without the other.
Corruption and horror make me appreciate the beauty of the world…and the beauty of the world gives me strength and courage to battle the corruption & horrors.
I certainly didn’t mean to give the impression that my desire to holler, yell and do what I can to fix this whacked-out world had faded because it certainly hasn’t. I’m just trying to do a better job of keeping it all in balance so I don’t wear myself out quite so often!